Chapter Forty
Michael stood at the foot of the bed looking down at Jaiden who sat cross legged at the end of the bed. He listened to her explain that she had to leave Paris in two days and watched as her fingers played with the blankets she had wrapped around her feet. Every few minutes she'd take another sip of wine and Michael noticed her face beginning to flush.
"I know you don't want to leave. I get why you are sad. but..." Michael began.
"It just seems like, I don't know, like there's more to this."
Jaiden stared up at him with no expression, no feeling in her face. Her eyes were dark and cold.
"Why do you think that?" she asked.
"Because...it's just a feeling I have, Jaiden." Michael said.
Jaiden forced herself to smile. She forced so much that her face muscles felt the strain of trying.
"Don't be silly. I'm just upset I have to go. Paris has been good to me." she said.
"Really....so that's the only reason." Michael asked...but it was more of a statement than a question.
"Yes." answered Jaiden.
"So that is why when you answered the door a little while ago, you looked like hell? That's why you have been drinking wine since I got here and for God knows how long before I got here --because Paris has been good to you and you will miss it." Michael wasn't buying Jaiden's explanation.
"Listen, believe what you want." Jaiden shrugged her shoulders and looked across the room and out the window.
Michael slowly approached her and lifted her chin with his fingers to make her look at him.
"Jaiden, maybe we haven't known each other a very long time, but I think I know you enough to know when you aren't telling me the complete truth. This is one of those times." Michael's face was filled with concern as he tried to read anything about Jaiden, but just couldn't seem to.
"Michael...I am upset, okay? I have to leave here. I love it here. I love the food and the beautiful people and the little places I've found to be by myself. I made a friend here too and I think I might even miss him." Jaiden said.
"A friend?" Michael asked.
"Yeah. You know? James? The baker's son from the bakery I took photos of." Jaiden explained.
"Oh." Michael turned away and walked over to Jaiden's window and looked down at the street far below.
"Oh what?" Jaiden asked.
"Nothing. I understand you will miss a lot of what you've come to like here. It just doesn't.....I don't know....I really don't think that is all, okay?" Michael simply couldn't shake the feeling that Jaiden was hiding something. And he didn't like it. He began to think about the words his mother had said to him: be careful.
Jaiden got up and put her wine glass down on the desk and folded her arms in front of her chest.
"Listen, I have some packing to do that I don't want to do and so I'm going to need sleep to build up the energy to do it and it's late, so........" she said.
"You want me to go?" Michael was bewildered. What the hell was up with her? She was treating him like a stranger.
"Well, it's just that I'm tired." she said.
Michael turned from the window and looked at her... his deep, brown eyes showing the hurt he was feeling. He shook his head.
"Fine. Okay. I'll go. Can I call you in the morning?" Michael asked.
"Sure. Of course." Jaiden smiled the best she could.
"Okay. Get some rest then. And I'll call you first thing." Michael leaned in to kiss Jaiden and was actually surprised she let him. The way she'd been treating him, he really didn't think she would. Her mouth felt good and warm and welcoming, despite her attitude. At that moment, Michael knew for sure she wasn't being honest with him. If she didn't still care for him, she wouldn't kiss him like she was. He just needed to figure out why she was acting like she was.
"Good night, Jaiden." he said and placed his hand gently on the left side of her face. For a split second he saw softness in her eyes. The softness and feeling that she usually had in her eyes when she looked at him.
"Good night, Michael." she said and then walked to the door with him and closed the door behind him.
Michael stood outside Jaiden's door for a full minute. He couldn't seem to move. He didn't want to leave. Her behavior was bothering him to the core and he knew he wouldn't sleep until he knew what was happening. After a while, he made his way down the hallway and around the corner to his room. It was going to be a long night.
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Jaiden stood at the door. Tears ran down her face uncontrollably and her heart ached. She turned her face toward the door and leaned her head on it. She didn't want Michael to leave. She didn't care about packing. She didn't want to sleep. She wanted him to hold her and she wanted him to tell her everything was going to be okay. But none of that happened because she wouldn't let it happen.
She could never tell him why she was leaving and if that meant pretending everything was okay, then she would do that. Oh God, she was leaving. She had to go back to Chicago. Her home. The place where her parents lived and her best friend lived and her comfy apartment waited for her. The place that was supposed to be the safest place for her.
Now all that had changed once again. She didn't want to go back. If she could just turn back the clock and NOT have picked up the phone to her parent's call....then maybe right now she WOULD be in Michael's arms.
But she did pick up the phone and her mother did tell her why she had to go home and reality had slapped her hard across the face.
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Michael sat in the large, brown chair reading chair in his hotel room. He stared blankly out the window. The wind had picked up and he could see the trees swaying back and forth outside as they formed giant silhouettes against the full moon's light.
He knew that he hadn't known Jaiden for long. He knew that there would be aspects of her personality that he hadn't come to know yet. But this wasn't like that. This was different. There was something very wrong about the entire situation. What was she hiding? Who did she think she was fooling? The kiss she gave him told him she didn't want him to leave. He knew it. He felt it. Just like he felt she was keeping something from him....the real reason she was leaving.
Michael picked up the phone and ordered some tea up to his room. He also added some chocolate chip cookies to his order ...and a small dish of cherries.
After enjoying his late night snack and wishing Jaiden was there to share the cherries with him, Michael got in the shower and began to think of all the things he had said and done in the last few days. Perhaps something in one of their conversations would give him a clue.
What had Jaiden talked about? She mentioned talking to her best friend. She also mentioned talking to her parents. Did they say something to her? Had they convinced her it was time to go home? No. From what he did know about her, she wouldn't be convinced of anything unless she wanted to do it.
They had left things just fine when they were together the time before last, so he knew it couldn't be anything that happened between the two of them. No, there was an answer somewhere and he would find it. It was just going to take some time.
Finishing up in the shower, Michael reached for a towel and dried his hair and his body. He walked to his closet to find some pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. He smiled when he realized that Jaiden was also wearing men's pajama bottoms and a white tank top when he left her.
In so many ways, they fit together so well. He knew she was someone special. He knew she was someone he wanted to make an effort for. And that was why he wasn't going to let her go through whatever she was going through all by herself.
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It was dinner time in Chicago. It had been several hours since Olivia had called Jaiden. Everything she had done since was done in slow motion. Her energy was gone. She felt a deep sadness and an even deeper concern for her daughter.
The clanking of silverware as Olivia set the table was what brought Thomas into the kitchen. He took some plates from the cupboard and placed those on the table and then got two glasses and filled them with juice. He watched as his wife's hands shook simply by placing the silverware at each place setting. Why did things have to be like this? Why did this all have to be happening?
Thomas felt a tightness in his chest once again. He had felt it a couple of days earlier. He knew his anxieties were playing havoc on his physical health, but there was no way he'd let Olivia worry about him too.
Walking over to the table, he gently took the remaining silverware from his wife's hands and finished setting the table. He kissed her on the top of the head and pulled out her chair for her.
"Let me serve you, my Love." he said to her.
"Oh, you are going to spoil me." Olivia smiled back.
Thomas went over to the stove and lifted the lid from a giant pot of freshly made soup.
It was turkey vegetable ...his favorite. He could smell the many scents coming from it. The sweetness of the carrot, the crispness of the fresh green beans she bought at a little organic market down the street. He smelled the comforting smell of the potatoes she diced and tossed in and the gentle combination of spices she used. Everything mixed and married well and made for the best soup he ever had and if he could, he'd ask her to make it for him for supper every night.
Finding two fairly large soup bowls, Thomas brought the bowls to the kitchen island and then sliced some bread that was sitting on the counter. It felt good to do all of this for Olivia. She always worked so hard to make meals wonderful for him. It was the least he could do.
Placing the bread on the plates, he took the bowls over to the stove and ladled out the soup for Olivia and himself. He took the bread over to the table first and placed it in between his and Olivia's place settings before going back to get the bowls of soup.
Thomas smiled at his wife as he put her soup bowl in front of her.
"I can't wait to taste this again." he said.
"I know you can't." smiled Olivia.
Her face was so drawn despite her smile. This whole thing was hurting her emotionally and he wished he could make everything go away. He knew that when she spoke to Jaiden on the phone that things wouldn't be wonderful, but in some small way, he hoped that now that Jaiden knew, that Olivia would feel some sort of relief having to not keep a secret any longer.
"Darling....Talk to me. Let it out. Please don't keep your true feeling bottled inside of you." he said to his wife.
Olivia reached for a piece of bread and placed it on her plate, picked up her knife and sliced off a bit of butter.
"I'm okay, Tom. Just....I think the word is 'numb'. Yet I see my own hands shake. We did the right thing...right?" Olivia looked over at her husband who sat across the table from her.
"Yes. I told you before. Yes. It was for the best. Jaiden will come home and she will deal with this, but she won't have to do this alone. We will be here for her. Just like the last time." Thomas said and then took his spoon and began to taste his soup.
"I want to believe it's the right thing. Oh God...why am I having such a hard time believing that? Why, Thomas? Why ANY of this?" Olivia very rarely raised her voice, but the words she spoke were spiked with anger and lines appeared on her forehead between her eyes as she frowned and finally began to show the emotion inside of her.
Thomas put down his spoon and reached across the table to hold onto Olivia's finger tips as she rested her hands on her place mat.
"We just have to trust in Jaiden. Trust that she is so very much wiser now than she was. Trust that she has grown stronger. We can't change this situation, Olivia. We can only go through it the best we can. As a family. As the best damn team that I know we are." Thomas spoke with conviction and could tell by Olivia's face that his words were sinking in and he was sure he saw a glimmer of hope in those lovely eyes of hers.
Olivia let herself smile. She let herself feel the strength her husband was giving her.
"Okay. We can do this." she said.
"Yes. We can. And afterward, we are going to have the biggest and best welcome home party for Jaiden. Now you just try to focus on that. Get Sam over here. Have her help you again. Let her talk your ear off with ideas." Thomas laughed.
Olivia laughed too.
"How you can manage to make me laugh, let alone smile when I really don't want to, I'll never know." she said.
Thomas and Olivia sat quietly for the rest of the meal. They ate their bread and slurped up the delicious soup that Olivia had made. Thomas went back for a second helping and Olivia loved that his appetite hadn't wavered. Maybe they COULD get past this.
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*Knock Knock Knock*
Michael opened his eyes. He hadn't even realized he'd fallen asleep. He was in the chair in his room and didn't have a blanket to keep him warm, but still managed to fall asleep at some point. The knocking at the door awakened him and his heart skipped a beat hoping he'd see Jaiden standing there when he opened the door.
Walking over to the door, he heard sniffing. Short sniffs and small breaths. It was Jaiden. And she was crying.
He opened the door and there she stood. Still in her pajamas, a box of kleenex in her hand and eyes as big as he'd ever seen them, looking up at him asking him to hold her.
He pulled her gently by the arm and guided her into the room and shut the door.
"Oh God, Jaiden, I am so happy you are here." he wrapped his arms around her and held her and stroked her hair.
"I didn't want to be. I didn't. I wanted to stay in my room. I didn't want you to see me like this. I didn't want you to know I am upset." she sobbed into his chest.
"Jaiden, no offense, but you aren't a very good liar. I knew something was wrong. I knew it. What is it? Can you tell me? Please tell me." Michael held her at arms length and looked into her teary eyes.
"Michael, I don't want to leave. God, I don't want to leave. You HAVE to know that. Okay? I don't. And it has nothing to do with you or us or anything stupid. I have to leave. But....I can't tell you why...." she said and her looked begged him to ask her no questions.
But Michael could not just accept that. How could he not need an explanation? He had to have one.
"Jaiden....come on. You are so upset right now. Earlier you treated me like I wasn't anyone to you. The only thing you told me is that you have to leave. That's it. And you are so incredibly, incredibly upset about it, but not a normal upset. I know there is something extremely not good going on. Why can't you trust me enough to tell me??" Michael was almost becoming frustrated.
"Oh, Michael. It's not that....I trust you. I just. I can't. Can you please just trust ME on this? Please? Just understand that I wouldn't do this unless I had to do it." Jaiden grabbed onto Michael's hands and squeezed them.
Standing there facing her, he knew he couldn't force her to tell him anything that she didn't want to tell him. He had to understand that or it was going to drive him crazy. Michael cared about Jaiden and he respected her and he knew she wouldn't leave unless she had to. He could feel that in his heart.
"Okay." was all he said.
"Okay? Okay you won't ask me anything else? Or Okay something else?" Jaiden asked.
"Okay I won't ask you anything else. But I don't like this, Jaiden." Michael said and looked her seriously in the eyes before walking over to the edge of the bed and sitting down.
Jaiden walked over and sat down beside him.
"This isn't easy. It's not." she said quietly and looked down at the floor.
"I just wish you didn't have to feel like you had to do something alone...that's all." Michael turned to face her and put her hair behind her ear.
"I'm not alone. I will be okay." she said reassuringly and lifted her head to look at him.
Michael turned his body to face her completely.
"I have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow, but is there a way we can spend some time together since you leave the day after tomorrow?" he asked.
"I would love that." Jaiden smiled.
Michael leaned in slowly, closed his eyes and kissed the lips of someone he knew he was falling for. If only she could understand how much he cared.
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Morning broke and the sunshine beamed through the curtains in Michael's bedroom. He and Jaiden had fallen asleep side ways on the bed; their legs hanging off the edge. They had held each other and not spoke at all and had let sleep take over.
Michael was the first to stir. His arm was asleep under Jaiden's neck, yet he didn't care. He looked at her face which was stained with dried tears and wished everything would be different. Michael didn't want Jaiden to leave. It was the last thing he wanted. When would he see her again? He didn't know when he could get to Chicago. He wasn't scheduled to go there at all. He also had to stay another couple of weeks in Paris. The thought of not spending one day with her for God knows how long sent a shock into his gut.
He moved his face closer to her and kissed her cheek. She smelled so predictably good. Each and every time he smelled her skin or her hair, she smelled good. He wished he could bottle her scent and keep it with him.
Jaiden began to move slightly. He watched her arch her back as she stretched. He enjoyed the view of her breasts under her shirt as her chest expanded with a deep breath. Michael let her finish her stretch before bringing her body closer to his and as he did, she turned her back to him and snuggled right up against him.
She felt good. Warm, soothing and comforting. He wrapped his other arm around her waist and instinctively she grabbed it and held it close to her chest.
Michael didn't know what time it was, only that he had to be involved in a conference call with Ian at 10am. Judging by the sun's position out his window, it wasn't even close to 10am. He buried his face into the back of Jaiden's neck and inhaled all the honey smell he could.
He felt Jaiden's body begin to shake and heard her giggle.
"Ooooooh....that TICKLES!" she squealed.
"Look who's awake...." he said and took another smell of her hair at the base of her neck.
"Eeee...Michael! You're giving me goose bumps." Jaiden turned around to face Michael and placed her hands in his messy curls.
"You like to smell my hair and I like to play in yours." she said, twirling a curl around her fingers.
"Yep. You smell perfect." he said and squeezed her a little harder.
"What's on your agenda today?" she asked, suddenly sounding a bit more serious.
"The usual. 10am phone meeting and then some other stuff I won't bore you with." Michael said and then stretched out his legs which were now tingly from hanging over the bed all night.
"It's not boring to me, just so you know. What time is it anyway?" Jaiden tried to peer over top of Michael to see the clock.
"Time to kiss you." he said and grabbed her head and brought her mouth to his.
They kissed and snuggled and kissed some more until it was time for Michael to get ready for his busy day.
Jaiden crawled off the bed and looked out the window while Michael got dressed and called Ian and then his driver.
Once he was off the phone, he walked up behind Jaiden and put his arms around her waist and kissed her cheek.
"I meant what I said. I want to spend time with you today." he said quietly into her ear.
"That sounds wonderful to me." Jaiden said.
"I am going to be packing and saying goodbye to a couple of people. But for the most part, I'll be in my room. Will you call?"
"I'll be in touch, yes." Michael turned Jaiden around to face him and smiled a smile that made her knees weak.
"God...you're beautiful." she said
"You took the words right out of my mouth." Michael said. He once again tucked her hair behind her ears, cupped her face and kissed her gently and sweetly, and couldn't wait to see her later that day. Since he didn't know when he was going to see her again after tomorrow, he was going to make that afternoon and evening one she'd never forget.
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